I told you before that my youngest, Georgi, became very ill with a severe case of croup on Wednesday. She spent all night in the ER on Thursday and we were both miserable all day Friday after having no sleep the night before. I am still trying to recover.
Her fever finally broke early Saturday morning and I was able to get some catch up work done around the house during the day, despite my exhaustion. Early this a.m. however, I woke up to her barking cough (a reminder that she still has a ways to go to be over this thing), and my son Holder crying that his tummy and his eyes hurt. Great. And yes - by early-afternoon, his mild tummy ache and burning eyes had developed into a full-fledged fever, complete with red eyes and lethargy. Thankfully, no sign of a barking cough from this one yet - but his fever has been stubborn and he has been whiny and needy all day.
To add insult to injury, Georgi has decided that she is not ready to share the spot light - so I have had TWO whiny munchkins all day, I am getting sick and absolutely nothing is getting done around my house. We have boxes everywhere (we are preparing to move in a few months), no room for the tree we were supposed to get today, no family altar, no candles, no baking done, no decorations up - we are SO far behind, and Yule's Eve is tomorrow (well - today depending on what time you are finally reading this).
I don't want to be stressed out all day tomorrow - Yule should be relaxing and enjoyable - and I don't want to be exhausted. So, I have reluctantly decided that it is time to let go. I am not going to get the articles I wanted to post up and on my blog for Yule this year - some of them will happen, but as Yule proceeds... others will have to wait until next year when we are settled into our Nashville home with less on our plates.
I am also having to let go of some of our plans - we may not get to make as many Yule crafts or Yule treats as we would like to do, we may have to scale it back to make room for more packing and purging. Our solstice ritual may have to be more of an observance due to sick family members; and this year, Yule just may have to be more for us about cleansing out the old to make room for the new to begin - just as the winter cold prepares the earth for the fertility of spring. Hmmm? I'm too tired to decide exactly how that's going to work just now.
The thing is, any of you who know me also know that I'm a bit obsessive compulsive (an understatement I'm sure). I do not let go easily. I am also a serious perfectionist which makes "scaling back" even more difficult to do. This is going to be much harder on me than it may seem like it should be. Still, I am trying to get behind this and start fresh. I will have to get some sleep and reevaluate in the a.m.. In fact, a little positive energy sent my way would be much appreciated. I can use all the support I can get; and any of you adept to healing, please send some healing energies out to my littlest ones? I really do appreciate the thoughts - thanks.
Please tell me I'm not alone... is anyone else out there having a Solstice season like mine?
Namaste,
Luhnna
Aaahhhh Luhna. Although I am not having one like that this year, I have had one many years back, when my son was 4. I remember that moment of letting go. It was a surprising blessing that we discovered that year. The blessings that lived within the spaces of emptiness that were created by our complete inability to "deck the halls." Within those empty spaces we spent holding our feverish child, we discovered a tender sweetness, the promise of rebirth in the silence, the darkness, the stillness, and the sweet bond of togetherness as a family. May you be abundantly blessed this season, including the blessing and joy of healing to you and your family. Thank you for all you share with us here on your lovely blog.
ReplyDeleteOh honey, take a deep breath, center yourself and remember all will work out as it is meant to. I will happily send healing energy to you and yours.
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